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    <title>Misty Reflections</title>
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      <title>Misty Reflections</title>
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    <item>
 <title>Farewell</title>
 <link>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=56</link>
<description><![CDATA[December 31, 2011<br />
<br />
Was this the year of my redemption? Was this the year when the dark shadows of doubt and melancholy were washed away by a blinding light? Was this that year? There were positives this year. Without a doubt, there were waves in the right direction. But redemption? Not really (shake of the head). That one moment that turns a life, that one moment that brings immense joy of inexplicable proportions still waits, perhaps for a more opportune moment, or maybe another lifetime. But this lifetime is all that we have. And another year - sometimes free-flowing, sometimes somewhat frozen in the unending moments of the past - has whizzed past.<br />
<br />
Despite the feeling that a lot happened this year, not much happened. No pot of gold or silver came my way. Yet, there is that feeling of this year being a preparation - a preparation for bigger things to come. The promise of a long winding path to glory is visible, even though somewhat hazy. It may not lead anywhere, but if it does, there may lie some consolation, some compensation for that elusive rainbow that has always been out of reach. <br />
<br />
Someone will come down to my house, take me by my neck and strangle me to death (aah... I can't live without that word) if I mention this word again. I might hit myself with a hammer. But inevitably, it had to come up somewhere in this piece. That unconquered, undefinable, perhaps even non existent word called "luck". Needless to say that it failed me yet again. It has turned my life into a piece of music bereft of vital notes. Some notes are so vital, that they can make or break a piece of music; they can make or break a life. And the small compensations in the form of soulful tunes that sprout up here and there cannot meld together the broken pieces of the glass of life that prick and hurt us evermore, each passing day. But what is, is. Peace with it. Peace with the broken pieces.<br />
<br />
Does hope fly away on the wings of time? Or does it wait in the wings? The dawn of a new year used to be the beginning of a new hope. It should be. But what about hopes that  are dashed and dwindled away in a flash? What about the years before that never even had a sprinkling of evidence of hopes coming true? All these questions that race through my mind, raise enough doubts to stop any seed of hope in its ranks. Perhaps the end of hope was the only thing that was a success this year. Perhaps it's a good thing. At least, there won't be tears of unmet expectations.<br />
<br />
And so, another uneventful, pretty much unsatisfactory, completely melancholic, hopeless and infintely dismal year comes to an end. Those words may seem like harsh adjectives to describe a year in which nothing went wrong on paper. Looked at in isolation, this year may deserve some good marks. But it's enough for the melancholic in me, that not even a tiny part of the endless sorrows of the preceeding years was set right. Enough to tilt the scales of the year towards the negative. The world may end next year, but my world already ended long ago. Just in case we don't meet (through another post) at the end of next year, goodbye, adieu, farewell.<br />
]]></description>
 <category>New Year</category>
<comments>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=56</comments>
 <pubDate>Sat, 31 Dec 2011 12:06:25 -0700</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>No Fairytale</title>
 <link>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=55</link>
<description><![CDATA[December 31, 2010<br />
<br />
A potentially engaging story. Twists and turns. Melancholy, music, silence. 2010 had all the elements to make a great movie. But somehow there was no soul. Nor fortune. And so everything fell short. Short of something dramatic, something spectacular. It had potential. So do many things in life. But transforming potential into success is something else. What 2010 did not have is that one moment that catapults a movie into a different league.<br />
<br />
And so, 2010 was Yet Another Ordinary year in my life. It was no fairytale. But it had its share of momentary joys, of longing, and of lessons. And so, it has its own significance. Yes, on the outside nothing significant happened this year. But that is far from true. This year was as much about letting the old go as about the new. <br />
<br />
It was as much about old memories that faded away as it was about new memories that were created. I'm not sure if it satisfied me that I finally let go of the past. But it gave me some much needed peace. It may not be the best life I dreamed of. But it's sure better than a fire burning you down every second. <br />
<br />
There were new beginnings this year. Some of them seemed promising. Some of them had the potential to transform my life and to put to shade everything past. But many of them - perhaps the most important of them - ended even before they began. And that crushed me. It really did. Not just because they ended, but also because with them my hopes and beliefs in this life waned further. But they helped me get over some of my deepest sorrows. And so, short as they were, those new 'things' perhaps had 'their' reasons.<br />
<br />
And that whiff of sweet air towards the end of 2009 which seemed like an oasis turned out to be just another mirage. That wasn't much of a surprise. I almost expected it. And so I don't see any oasis anymore. Or should I say I don't see mirages anymore! Either way it's a bad state to be in.<br />
<br />
The one thing that did not change - one thing that has remained constant for many years now - was luck. It eluded me this year as well. Yes, many people do think that we make our own luck. Yes, there is someone deep inside me who agrees with that. But, luck does play a part somewhere. And I go on, knowing that it can't elude me forever. <br />
<br />
But in between, like a movie with potential does, the year showed sparks of brilliance. Moments of happiness that flew past. Moments of music. And the journeys. Some of the journeys this year - even the one within - were thoroughly satisfying. Ofcourse, melancholy was striking in its presence throughout all of them. But then that's almost a characteristic of my life now and it has followed me for a long time. Eventually, one lets it be.  <br />
<br />
Perhaps, the worst is behind me - finally. That's a positive thought. And considering the last few years of my life, even one small positive is gold. My heart would still like me to believe that I'm an eternal optimist. But, optimism needs fuel. And even through tough times, there have been penty of sparks that gave me hope in the last few years. But now, even those are fading. The last few breaths are waiting for some fresh air. But if it doesn't arrive soon, the death of optimism is inevitable.<br />
<br />
Even so, those last few drops of faith, hope and belief still wait - with the longing forever growing - for that one turning point. Will 2011 be the year? <br />
<br />
]]></description>
 <category>New Year</category>
<comments>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=55</comments>
 <pubDate>Sat, 1 Jan 2011 12:04:30 -0700</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Waves of melancholy</title>
 <link>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=54</link>
<description><![CDATA[The ocean, the sand, the silence. And the waves. My heart still remembers. After what had transpired that night, a lonely beach was the perfect setting to live my melancholy. And nothing better than the endless water, far and wide, to drown it. To drown, what the heart couldn't. And I sat down there, with those thoughts of drowning.<br />
<br />
The sound of waves and the strange silence of the rest of the night was truly striking. It was like contrasting frequencies that somehow converged in a place of glorified confusion. And as the cold waves touched my feet, I felt the melancholy inside me swell up. And I waited for the waves to bring me some message, some far away sign of happiness, perhaps a faint smell of some inexplicable high. I searched for that ray of light in the ocean of darkness that ruled all around. Whether that search will forever be futile, is something that my heart often debates. And the doubt - a residue of that debate -still remains.<br />
<br />
As the night got darker, the waves got stronger, and so did the desire to tear myself out of the entangled mess in my life. But, I couldn't quite locate the place that could release me. And perhaps in my eagerness to untie myself, I pulled in wrong directions only to make the knot stronger. And even if that realization caught my heart, what I did not discern was that that realization was a dawn that could have been the beginning of brighter things.<br />
<br />
Perhaps in those feelings, characterized mostly by sadness, there lay some joy. Perhaps even in the consistent lows there was some high. Perhaps the demons of life obliterated within themselves an angel who would someday spring to life. <br />
<br />
And what else is life, but waves. Waves of good and bad. Of crests and troughs. Maybe of noise and of silence. And I rode those waves that night with a sense of nothingness. Those waves of the ocean that somehow combined with the waves of my heart in a way that was curious and perhaps even divine. As those waves pushed at the shores, the waves inside me pushed further against the walls of  my heart.<br />
<br />
As I looked out far into the ocean, I wondered if any soul on the other side, somewhere far away was experiencing the same. And, perplexing as it may seem, I was connected to that soul through the ocean and my melancholy. That soul whom I had never even met. A soul that perhaps didn't even exist. Strange are the bonds in life. Bonds that are baffling and seemingly fictional. But, perhaps there is a place where fiction and reality do indeed meet. <br />
<br />
I saw lights in the distant sea, lights of ships that seemed to stand still on the ocean of time. Yet they moved, though slowly, through the darkness hoping to someday reach the shore. But maybe the heart of their life lay in the ocean, just as the heart of our lives lies in the journey. Perhaps, the shores are imaginary. Or perhaps they are just points between long voyages.<br />
<br />
I stood up and walked on the beach, my feet sinking into the sand, as I sank my heart into the atmosphere and thoughts that compelled me. The breeze that faintly brushed my face and the hint of rain that caressed my body were welcome additions to the night. And I walked on, my heart somewhere wondering whether this gloom was indeed the root of some weird joy. <br />
<br />
The sorrow may have dimmed. That darkness maybe somewhat inconsequential now. Yet, the sound of the waves of that night still lingers on in my memory.]]></description>
 <category>Memories</category>
<comments>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=54</comments>
 <pubDate>Fri, 1 Oct 2010 14:33:13 -0700</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Long Drive</title>
 <link>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=53</link>
<description><![CDATA[A dark, lazy Sunday. A reflection of my mood, perhaps even a reflection of my life. I sat behind the steering wheel. And, seat belt in place and my thoughts and imagination flying somewhere above, I took off for a long drive. I made my way out of the city into the deserted lanes of the country side. Almost nothing in front and nothing behind. A lonely road, a lonely drive. It wouldn't serve to get rid of my emptiness, I knew. It could hardly swallow my desperate melancholy. But it was all I could think of.<br />
<br />
As I picked up speed, fragments of my hair fluttered against the strong wind that blew. Trees that lined the road zipped by as I wondered whether I could leave some of my agony and frustration behind. Perhaps some of them, however transient, did fly away. They would come back to settle on my shoulders, I knew. But at least I had a fleeting freedom from them. And as the unending road unfolded before me, I let myself rest easy.<br />
<br />
I thought of flight, of dreams, and of fantasies and music. I thought of the exhilaration, the stupendous joys and the highs that life can bring. I switched on the radio as it played an old favourite hindi song:<br />
<br />
Zindagi Ke Safar Mein <br />
Guzar Jaate Hain Jo Makaam<br />
Woh Phir Nahin Aate, <br />
Woh Phir Nahin Aate...<br />
<br />
I lost myself in the sweet melancholy of that melody with a glance - so aptly - towards the mirror. And with the poetry and notes of that song, the view of what was behind me was somewhat musical, somewhat romantic. <br />
<br />
It wasn't long, before myriad considerations clouded my mind. If only a long drive could drive away forlorn thoughts of our heart! And from somewhere a hidden tear rolled down my face onto my lips. Where the salty little thing came from is perhaps a long story. But it soon evaporated into the wind, maybe without a trace. Yet, whether the roots of that tear will ever be slain, who is to tell.<br />
<br />
The future lay somewhere in the long road ahead. Whether it would bring something exciting, who could fathom. Whether there lay something that I've always dreamt of, waiting for me, I could only wonder. All I could do was to drive on with a little faith and some tiny bits of  hope.<br />
<br />
As I drove on, my mind wondered about the turns on either side that passed me by. But they were gone in a flash. And many a time, looking back in the mirror, I wondered how different life would have been if I had taken any one of them. In that, I missed a few more. And I wondered what it was that just made us keep going straight on the path we are, without a pause or a turn. Yes, I could have stopped and turned around, but we rarely have that choice in life. In reality, there's no turning back.<br />
<br />
Then I came upon a dead end where I had to make a choice. And it struck me that a dead end (in life) was so useful, for you had to turn either way. At least you slow down. At least you take some time, you make some choice. And, I don't know if we can do anything more in life than making what we think are right, uninfluenced choices - choices that are our own.<br />
<br />
Thoughts of turns and dead ends left behind, I got back to enjoying the drive. I came upon a stretch that was almost perfectly straight and really long and my leg stepped harder on the accelerator as we (the car and me) raced along and the speed meter moved towards the right (or wrong side) of 100. It was thrilling, perhaps almost fatal. Such are thrills in life, but what is life without them.<br />
<br />
And I drove on. Miles ahead of me, miles behind me, unrelenting thoughts in my head, the music still playing. And, I drove on.]]></description>
 <category>Life</category>
<comments>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=53</comments>
 <pubDate>Sun, 16 May 2010 12:09:30 -0700</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>No Stars</title>
 <link>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=52</link>
<description><![CDATA[31 December 2009<br />
<br />
The mandatory review. Every December end. Every year. Rewind to January. The expectations? Not much really. Yes, there were some expectations as always. But, they were more about hope, than about probability. Anyway, they were  pretty much dashed and thrown away in the first few weeks. It was the year that I feared could be the most awful year of my life - yes, worse than the pretty damaging previous year. Whether it indeed was that bad, is hard to judge. But yes, it has come down to this - to comparing years based on which was less dreadful. Awesome!<br />
<br />
But more than the dreadful year that it was feared to be, it was an empty one. There are years which are melancholic, years which are plain bad, years which are painful. I had known them. I had experienced them. But a completely empty year? Who can fathom the ache that an empty year can bring, save the one who has experienced it?<br />
<br />
Imagine a storm. A storm that has shattered every dream and burned every path. A storm that has almost seemed endless. And then, it finally stops. What it leaves is a void, a bareness, that will take something magical to fill. This year was not about a fierce storm; it was about the desert that it leaves behind. In the seemingly feelingless moments that characterized much of the past twelve months, pain was invisible. And that's the worst thing... pain that fades into emptiness. But what is inevitable, is inevitable.<br />
<br />
A year which in any case started with my dreams and fantasies already down to earth and trampled upon. A year which took away whatever little of faith and belief  that were left. And silently too. A year in which, I think, I finally gave up. Yet in my heart of hearts, I know that the wind, however light and small it maybe, refuses to die down. Emptiness has only hidden it, not destroyed it. That is the hope that I still carry.<br />
<br />
Every year throws up various choices and paths. And 2009 for me was a year of tough decisions, perhaps tricky ones. Whether I made all the right choices is debatable and will only be known in the times to come. But, something tells me that I took the right paths. And with the peace of that intuition, I go on.<br />
<br />
I begin to think, if 2009 was to be relived again, is there anything under my control that I would change? Not much. Maybe a bit here and there. Sure, I could have done more. Without a doubt, I could have been better. But still I wouldn't change much.  Anything I would change that was not under my control? Definitely. Lots. But who or what will change them for me? Something Divine? Even just one thing?<br />
<br />
And so, another tick against the years that go by. Or perhaps a cross. But life doesn't care whether it is a tick or a cross. It just goes on. Only, we are left with the unending agony of the memories of those years that never came even remotely close to getting a tick.<br />
<br />
The verdict?  Zero stars for 2009.  I did not expect it to draw a blank, but then when was the last time life met my expectations. Hopefully what was emptied this year, will be filled in the next. Hopefully, this is the absolute bottom and there is no way further down. Or is there? Ah, I can't bear the thought of another empty year.<br />
<br />
But suddenly a whiff of air that is blowing, towards the very end of the year, is seemingly bringing omens of sweeter things. Does that mean that the next year will finally usher in something good? Almost improbable, but who knows...<br />
 ]]></description>
 <category>New Year</category>
<comments>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=52</comments>
 <pubDate>Thu, 31 Dec 2009 12:07:01 -0700</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>A fairytale, almost</title>
 <link>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=51</link>
<description><![CDATA[It's been a long time since I blogged. Sometimes, negative thoughts overwhelm you and you feel you have nothing to say. It required something really positive, perhaps even inspiring to put pen to paper.<br />
<br />
Yes, cricket is just a game. You win sometimes and lose some other times. But there are parallels between life and sport, and the learning that one can take out of it is immense. The inspiration that sport can bring is truly amazing.<br />
<br />
The story of IPL 2009 was one of  immaculate organization, fascinating contests, some incredible performances and electrifying finishes. What more can one ask for? Yet, it was much much more than that. That it went down to the the last over, almost the last ball of the final to decide the winner, is testimony to the resounding success that it has been.<br />
<br />
It was a story of how persistence and passion wins at the end of the day. It was also the story of how underdogs rise, how crucial moments are seized and how it requires just one moment of brilliance or just plain luck to turn it all around. Perhaps such is life. Just lie waiting and your time will come. But, seize the moment.<br />
<br />
It was also about leadership - about inspiring leadership. About how a brilliant leader can turn the sagging fortunes of a team. One has to only look at the teams that contested the final to confirm that. <br />
<br />
Perhaps it was almost unthinkable that the bottom two teams from last year should finish on top. But its surprising how many times life leaves us spellbound by making the unthinkable happen. Ah...there's something about the underdogs scripting a remarkable win that deeply warms the heart. And to top it all, the romantic thought of perfect reversals, of close, heart-stopping finishes, of  great triumphs, and of lingering moments that took the heart away. My nails are no longer there and the words simply dry up.<br />
<br />
As the Deccan Chargers, celebrated their moment of success, as the firecrackers lit up the air, it was time for everyone, irrespective of whom they supported, to rejoice, to drink to the success of cricket and sport. Perhaps cricket can become a truly global sport.<br />
<br />
And if one man truly deserves the victory, it has to be Adam Gilchrist. He has been a great player and an true legend, not just because of this exploits on the cricket field, but also because of his wonderful attitude that stands out like a shining star amongst the rubbish that the other Australian cricketers spit out.<br />
<br />
Of course, I would perhaps have been happier if the final had gone the other way. It was almost heart breaking that Royal Challengers Bangalore lost it from a winning position. It was almost a 'Royal Victory'. But, it stopped just short of that. I'm sure it will take sometime for them to overcome the disappointment. But, disappointments are part of sport, and indeed, a part of life. And the lessons learned will always stand them in good stead in the years to come. There's always another time, another chance.<br />
<br />
So, a thrilling, most amazing, and wonderful tournament comes to an end. It leaves us with the satisfaction of having seen good cricket, having witnessed some terrific spectacles and of having felt the pulse of  the stunning extravaganza. And, it has left us thirsting for more. <br />
<br />
More importantly it leaves us with a hope - a hope to everyone that life does turn. This is the stuff fairy tales are made of. ]]></description>
 <category>Sport</category>
<comments>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=51</comments>
 <pubDate>Sun, 24 May 2009 15:17:16 -0700</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Old and New</title>
 <link>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=50</link>
<description><![CDATA[December 31, 2008<br />
<br />
An 'old' year gone by,  lots of memories, most of them dreadful, maybe a few good  (forced) ones, dreams galore, nothing accomplished, perhaps a few key (or locked) moments. And, a New Year to come. Bitter or better, time will tell. And so it continues, the cycle of old and new - and old, of despair and hope - and despair.<br />
<br />
Time does fly.  Yet, this year flew faster than time itself, whatever that means. Perhaps it was on a different plane, on some other axis. It has been the same thirty one million, six hundred twenty two thousand, four hundred - perhaps point something - seconds. (A little more than usual, courtesy February 29). Yet, that time now seems to tend to zero. This year has been one long fleeting moment of nothing. <br />
<br />
Last year (2007), I thought, was the hardest year of my life. But, I hadn't dreamt, not even in my most vicious dreams, that this year would turn out the way it did. And so, I will have to repeat what I had said at the end of last year. This has truly been the hardest year of my life so far. Not only the hardest, but it has also been my worst. And I shudder to say this, for the next year has the potential yet to be far worse. Also, on the surface, it has perhaps been my weakest. Whether there lay something of  real strength in it, I do not know yet. That will be clearer only in the years to come.<br />
<br />
But, at a glance, it seems nothing came out of it. Adverse thoughts, unpropitious wavering. They did not get me anywhere - I knew they never would - and that's the worst part. The pages of my life torn to shreds and scattered all over, almost impossible to gather together again. And, just to make sure, each one of them crumbled into irreversible forms. What could come out of such a year?<br />
<br />
Still, the lamp of  hope burned brightly at many times. Yes, there were moments throughout the year when it flickered. There were moments when it almost went out. Moments when darkness swept in, almost completely. But somehow, something inside me never let the light go off completely. And then life brought circumstances that gave me hope. The lamp was rekindled. Only to be dashed and dwindled right away, the very next moment. Still, those positive moments of assurance kept me going. <br />
<br />
The previous year was supposed to be a 'passing' phase. The dawn of this year was supposed to bring brighter thoughts. But life is full of shocks, sometimes (sometimes?) rude. And I hadn't accounted for this. I hadn't accounted for the fact that passing phases too can last long. Perhaps even longer than the meaning of  'passing' can take. And those hopes of a better life, disappeared into the wilderness. Yet, they came back, sometimes, only to wither away again; and some other times, stronger and truer. And I held on to those, like a dying person holds onto the last bits of a life saving rope.<br />
<br />
Yet, when I look deeply, what strikes me is that this year has been magical. Yes, magical! In many, many ways. I couldn't explain many things that happened - things that need not have happened, save for relighting me. I still cannot. And so, in that sense, the year has been a fairytale of sorts. That is amazing in itself. How could an unyielding, most unfavoured year have been a fairytale? Perhaps some Divine Being - in all probability chuckling at me now - up there knows more about it.<br />
<br />
And so, here I am, at the close of one more priceless year, in my twenties. For sure, we don't know how precious these years are. At least I don't seem to know. For how else can I explain myself throwing away hours, days and months of these precious years into nothing. And, if I don't learn my lesson even now, I guess I will deserve the unfulfilled life that stares at me.<br />
<br />
It was a kind of year that I never wanted to experience; but one that we all inevitably have to, sometime. And, from that angle, I'm glad for it, for it's behind me now.  But can years like this one ever be behind us? Every tiny and almost insignificant thing will lead me back to this year even many years from now. And with that thought, doubt creeps in. Doubt that pulls at my mind and tells me that I will never forget the bitterness of this year. And that's a hard life to live - to live in one bitter year forever.<br />
<br />
Yet, hope never dies. Tomorrow is a new year. Tomorrow is a new life. A new fairytale. Perhaps. ]]></description>
 <category>New Year</category>
<comments>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=50</comments>
 <pubDate>Tue, 30 Dec 2008 13:00:03 -0700</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Have you tried &apos;that&apos; life?</title>
 <link>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=49</link>
<description><![CDATA[The gleaming sun shone down on my face. There were trees around, but some distance away, and I sat in the open allowing the sun to burn me down. It was a calm afternoon, yet a very restless one. For life is as calm or as restless as we are inside. My heart was filled with thoughts of the ways of my life. And, I asked myself several questions that day. Perhaps those were important questions to every soul in this world. And those questions just buzzed past me, again and again.<br />
<br />
Have you ever seen the endless possibilities of life? Have you even glanced at paths untrodden? Have you ever looked at life that way - at the way it is perhaps supposed to be looked at? Have you ever chased your dreams? Have you ever thought beyond the routine? Beyond the surface? Have you seen depth?<br />
<br />
Have you ever tried love over hate? Has you heart ever tried returning a frown with a smile -  a smile so endearing, so magical, that melts an enemy into a friend? Have you ever turned a potential rift into a glorious partnership? Have you even wanted to? Have you even given an other a chance to?<br />
<br />
Perchance, sometime, you thought of making a difference to someone. Perhaps, a thought about turning a life. A thought that dreamt of lighting a soul that was in the dark.  Have you? Have you found solace in that? Have you ever found anything or anyone that you would give your life for? Have  you ever even thought about the purpose of your life? Have you ever wanted enlightenment? Have you ever tried to paint your soul with your true colours? <br />
<br />
Have you ever pursued the right? Have you ever had the courage to raise a voice? Have you ever let go of safety and  gone the distance to fight for something?  Have you ever seemingly run out of strength, and yet found it within your deep self? Have you ever tried  patience? Persistence? Have you ever believed? Have you tried lasting faith over doubt? Have you ever failed and used the experience to turn it into success? Have you ever gone to those magical heights from the deepest valleys?  Have you ever thought you would? Have you even thought that you could? Have you tried to fulfill even half of your potential?  Have you even wanted to? <br />
<br />
Have you woken up one day and decided to only smile that day?  Have you ever tried  to awaken the extreme positive side of your thinking? Have you tried to stamp out the bursts of negativity that always come along? Has there been even one single day of your life in which you had no negative thoughts?<br />
<br />
Have you ever thought generously? Have you ever just given something, or perhaps everything just because you felt like, even to the most undeserving person? Have you ever given all you had or will ever have?  Have you ever given way for another vehicle to pass you even in the most busy traffic times? Have you even waited for someone to cross the  road before you zoom past them? Have you ever smiled at someone who hit your car and perhaps even damaged it badly? Have you ever let someone behind you in a queue to be served first? Have you perhaps paid for some strangers' dinner in a restaurant - people you did not even know? Have you given anyone a pleasant surprise that is unforgettable?<br />
 <br />
Have you ever forgiven someone, for a 'sin' that never deserved forgiveness? With your heart? Have you ever tried to replace that unending feeling of vengeance with a forever feeling of peace. Have you even forgiven yourself? Have you ever sought redemption? Have you ever thought that joy is the way of life? That every single living being deserves it? Have you thought that you too deserved happiness, and that the world wants you to experience it? <br />
<br />
Have you ever asked someone for help? Have you even given  someone a chance to lend you a hand? Perhaps there is someone who is ever willing to do that? Have you looked at someone and felt that way? Have you given them a chance to that right? Have you given the world itself the chance to help you?  Have you ever tried to  free someone, even yourself, from the self imposed chains? Have you ever glanced at that free, charming, mystical, jubilant and gratifying life that can be yours?<br />
<br />
As I looked around, I noticed three things. The sun that shone down on me, the shade of the trees slightly far away, yet reachable, and the ways of my life. I asked myself: have I tried that life?<br />
<br />
Have you ever tried living 'that' way? Have you ever tried 'that' life? ]]></description>
 <category>Life</category>
<comments>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=49</comments>
 <pubDate>Sun, 14 Dec 2008 12:48:35 -0700</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Dream On</title>
 <link>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=48</link>
<description><![CDATA[The morning that brings with it new dreams. The evening that gives us hope that we are almost there. The night that breaks our hearts. The new morning that brings newer dreams.<br />
<br />
Dreams of  flying away into unknown skies. Dreams of landing in never-been-before places. Dreams of attaining glory that  has always been just out of reach. Dreams of reaching stars whose light has never yet reached us. Dreams of touching places inside us, that have never been touched. <br />
<br />
Dreams. Dreams that fly. And the life that forever shoots them down. The life that strikes us at the 'right' times with reality that bites. Winds that almost always blow in wrong directions. People who somehow stop us in our tracks. Circumstances which leave us helpless. <br />
<br />
And still, dreams of an angel who will come swooping down from heaven. Dreams of angels on earth. Dreams of people being equal to our expectations. Dreams of our highest aspirations still being met. Dreams of our deepest feelings reaching their destination. Dreams of  being able to do something that we have  never done. Dreams of perhaps doing something bizarre. Dreams of achieving the impossible. Dreams that come so close to being fulfilled. Dreams that are almost within grasp.<br />
<br />
And yet again, the enemy who still stands tall. The enemy who always has newer tricks.  The enemy who  rolls out unending barricades against every  zooming dream. The enemy that is life. And the question that seemingly yet remains unanswered: can dreams stand the test of life? <br />
<br />
Can dreams withstand the life that pulls us down to our knees and brings us to tears? Can hopes and aspirations of glorious heights still live in this life? Or can they still spring back from the dead? Or will the ever subduing life persuade us to abandon our dreams?<br />
<br />
Therein lies the weirdness of life. Why do we still dream? Why do we still take paths in search of gold - paths which almost always lead us through stones - only to find emptiness?  Life does try its best. It tries its best to make us pause and give in.<br />
<br />
Yet, dreams live on. Dreams of fighting for what is always right. Dreams of romantic triumphs.  Perhaps dreams of comebacks that defy life itself. Thoughts of that feeling so great, that accompanies a fulfilled dream.  Dreams of making a fairy tale out of ordinary life. Dreams that form a large part of the trauma that is life. <br />
<br />
Dreams that almost always fall by the wayside. Dreams that are forever lost in the unrelenting times and spaces of everyday life.  But what is life without them? What  is life without those dreams? What is life without the still present fight? What is life without the unending hope that fuels those dreams? What is life without the heart to chase the unknown? <br />
<br />
And so, we dream on. Some of our dreams don't come true. Perhaps most of them don't. Yet, we dream on.  Yet, we dream on.]]></description>
 <category>Dreams</category>
<comments>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=48</comments>
 <pubDate>Sun, 7 Dec 2008 13:27:43 -0700</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Festival of Lights, Life of Darkness</title>
 <link>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=47</link>
<description><![CDATA[The sound of fire crackers all around. The light of lamps in all homes. Smiles on faces. Sweets, color and lots more.<br />
<br />
Diwali. The Fesitval of Lights. The triumph of good over evil. Diwali, a great festival, a time for celebration, a time of togetherness with family, with friends. For most of us, a time for holidays. A time for hope. <br />
<br />
What about the other side? Diwali. A time which underlines the deep hypocrisy of Indian society. Diwali. 'Outward' shows of happiness, of lights. What does it mean to celebrate  the triumph of good over evil once a year, when evil wins all throughout. What does it mean when we mostly tend towards backwardness and darkness. What does it mean? <br />
<br />
Bright lights and sounds for a short time, only for darkness and silence to take over again. What does it mean? What does a lamp that burns brightly signify? What does a fire cracker that lights up the atmosphere and brings a smile signify? What does all this mean, when everything eventually melts away into darkness and is merely a memory.<br />
<br />
What does it mean for Lord Ram to burn the effigy of Ravan? What does it mean when the Ravan inside all of us is stronger and will eventually prevail? How hypocritical can we be? How much more openly can we celebrate it? Oh man, The Lord will be so happy with all of us!<br />
<br />
And, let's not highlight one win for good here and there. Those are mere aberrations. And we all know it. Aberrations that makes us believe that all is well. But as they say, the truth is always something else. <br />
<br />
Perhaps Diwali is a time for forgetting sorrows and darkness. Perhaps Diwali is the time to leave behind the troubles. But being oblivious for a day, for a week, doesn't obliterate anything forever. Diwali is the time to wake up. To wake up to the true light - light that forever seems to evade us. It is a time to ponder. We need the light to see the darkness. What better time than Diwali to do that?<br />
<br />
Let this Diwali not be a time of mere hope. Let it not be a time to merely distribute sweets. Let it be a time that begins sweeter thoughts. Let it not be a time for merely lighting lamps outside our homes. Let it be the time to light the lamp inside our hearts. <br />
<br />
An eternal optimist, I do hope we will have a Real Diwali someday. I hope I live to see that day. Until then, for whatever it is worth: Happy Diwali; whatever that means to you all. Frankly, today, it means little to me. Zilch.<br />
<br />
Diwali. Festival of Lights. Life of Darkness. ]]></description>
 <category>General</category>
<comments>http://samarthprakash.com/nucleus/index.php?itemid=47</comments>
 <pubDate>Sun, 26 Oct 2008 10:21:36 -0700</pubDate>
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