Misty Reflections

The sound of fire crackers all around. The light of lamps in all homes. Smiles on faces. Sweets, color and lots more.

Diwali. The Fesitval of Lights. The triumph of good over evil. Diwali, a great festival, a time for celebration, a time of togetherness with family, with friends. For most of us, a time for holidays. A time for hope.

What about the other side? Diwali. A time which underlines the deep hypocrisy of Indian society. Diwali. 'Outward' shows of happiness, of lights. What does it mean to celebrate the triumph of good over evil once a year, when evil wins all throughout. What does it mean when we mostly tend towards backwardness and darkness. What does it mean?

Bright lights and sounds for a short time, only for darkness and silence to take over again. What does it mean? What does a lamp that burns brightly signify? What does a fire cracker that lights up the atmosphere and brings a smile signify? What does all this mean, when everything eventually melts away into darkness and is merely a memory.

What does it mean for Lord Ram to burn the effigy of Ravan? What does it mean when the Ravan inside all of us is stronger and will eventually prevail? How hypocritical can we be? How much more openly can we celebrate it? Oh man, The Lord will be so happy with all of us!

And, let's not highlight one win for good here and there. Those are mere aberrations. And we all know it. Aberrations that makes us believe that all is well. But as they say, the truth is always something else.

Perhaps Diwali is a time for forgetting sorrows and darkness. Perhaps Diwali is the time to leave behind the troubles. But being oblivious for a day, for a week, doesn't obliterate anything forever. Diwali is the time to wake up. To wake up to the true light - light that forever seems to evade us. It is a time to ponder. We need the light to see the darkness. What better time than Diwali to do that?

Let this Diwali not be a time of mere hope. Let it not be a time to merely distribute sweets. Let it be a time that begins sweeter thoughts. Let it not be a time for merely lighting lamps outside our homes. Let it be the time to light the lamp inside our hearts.

An eternal optimist, I do hope we will have a Real Diwali someday. I hope I live to see that day. Until then, for whatever it is worth: Happy Diwali; whatever that means to you all. Frankly, today, it means little to me. Zilch.

Diwali. Festival of Lights. Life of Darkness.

It's time for resolutions and many of us resolve to change a few habits and become better people. I have never made many resolutions, but this year I have decided to make a few. Some of them may be strongly bizarre, some of them may be unacceptable, some may seem truly comical and some of them may not even qualify as resolutions. But bear with me. Here they are: fond desires of my heart, dark pursuits - my heartfelt resolutions.

I was pondering about my bad habits, and I will say, with the danger of sounding proud, that I gave myself a pat on the back. I could hardly think of any really really bad habits that I have developed. Possibly, sleeping too late and getting up even later could be one of them. But that hardly qualifies as an exciting bad habit. There are other small ones, that cannot be mentioned here for they don't pass the censor test for minimum awfulness. This year, I resolve, from the bottom of my heart, to develop some really good bad habits! What could they possibly be? Let me see. Perhaps, be a little more rude to people. Perhaps, yell loudly at anyone at the slightest opportunity? What fun it would be! I can't wait to do it.

And then, what else can I think of? Maybe my first pinch of beer, a spoon of whisky? Or maybe bottles and bottles of the strongest vodka? Well, its perhaps a little too light. Finally the goal is to not be able to get up and walk. Let me see. How far can I go. Maybe a cigarette or two? Thats not even remotely near to the edge. The point is that, I am game to exploring the limits of darkness this year and I am really determined - no one will stop me from sticking to my resolutions - and I do have lot of other 'taboo' habits on my mind. But lets not even get there.

Then, a few 'fun' resolutions perhaps. More like things to do, than resolutions. Maybe play a prank on someone. A very bad prank at that. Something, that makes that person feel really bad. Something that makes that person curse me. And, really badly at that. I have a few weird ideas. But, let those be seen on the real stage.

What are the other possible gray territories? Perhaps, I could have resolved to cheat in all - the keyword here is all - examinations, and of course not get caught, but I am no longer a student. But it's one thing some of you students may want to pursue - not that most of you aren't already. Anyway, I shall keep this in mind if I ever I become a formal student again.

What about learning a few bad words - and their meanings? Of course using them, wittingly, at every possible opportunity is at the heart of this resolution. A mix of different languages will greatly help in increasing the fun factor. Any experts please do let me know whether you can help me out. Anyone out there with similar interests can join me in this pursuit.

Then, maybe steal a few things? I have heard stories of people stealing paintings. Maybe I can steal a car or two. Or Perhaps, I can get my hands on a few credit cards. Oh and of course, what about robbing a bank. It may require some planning, and so I may not really be able to make it this year, but I will surely try hard. I resolve to steal atleast five things this year, if not more. And perhaps, on the way , I can steal a few hearts as well! Wink!

Moving on to other resolutions. I do not have a great many friends, but I do have one or two here and there. And I resolve that this year, I will try and fight with them - fight badly - and lose them too. Ah, getting rid of all friends and being free of them would be so nice. My by-now-mean mind is already thinking of princely ways to do the needful. I vow to try my best to make it to the oft-visited, yet still unknown, territories of solitude.

And finally, I have one grand resolution. To completely lose faith in the Almighty, to stop believing in God, fully knowing the side effect that atheists may want to befriend me. Anyone with such ideas, need not even come near me. And, the time I save - no more prayers - can be dedicated to turning all these splendid resolutions into reality.

I am not even running out of strange and dark ideas. But, let me keep the rest for next year. I have a lot to 'accomplish' this year already. Tune in next year for another set of great and inspiring resolutions.Tune in for a lot more of such dark pursuits.

Strange? Life is stranger than fiction and sometimes resolutions are even stranger.

A lonely afternoon, somewhat melancholic, deeply frustrating and undoubtably grim. Then suddenly, I heard that sound, the sound of rain - or rather music. It was as if a prayer that I had never said had been answered. And off I went, out of my home, out of my shell, into the rain. I went on a long lonely drive to nowhere.

The rain drops that hit my car created a song that lifted me. A song that my body danced to, without actually dancing. And my world seemed transformed - from melancholic, frustrating and grim to gleeful and carefree; though still somewhat lonely. My energy, which had been drained out by some (unkown) sadness was back. And, I sang along with the rain, as I drove away to glory on the somewhat deserted roads.

After quite a long, watery drive, I brought my car to a halt, and set foot outside. As I felt the rain drops touch me, an overwhelming feeling of strange happiness surrounded me. And, for one fleeting moment, the melancholy inside me was 'completely' gone. It was as if the cold drops of divine water that hit my body, percolated into my soul and somehow 'warmed' me. It was the most playful, light-hearted and romantic I had felt in a long time. I wish time just paused there - at that cold, warm moment.

And as I stood there inhaling the fresh smell of rain, I wondered why 'rain' is associated with the dark days of life (as they say - 'rainy days'). A rainy day is so wonderful, so amazing. And it was then that it dawned on me that everything is what me make it to be. A rainy day can seem bleak and dreary - if you look at it that way. But, it can also lift your spirits - like I found out. Sometimes, in the seemingly most dark and 'rainy' days of our lives, lies something beautiful, something glorious. If only we care to find it.

I remembered old, carefree, rainy days, when I used to fill the little streams of water with small boats. When, just wearing a raincoat or holding an umbrella brought a sense of excitement. Where had that enthusiasm disappeared? Why had I forgotten to enjoy the rain all these days? Why had I allowed tension and sorrow to overwhelm me, drain me out and take control of me? Probably it was the growing up - the innocent days of childhood now a distant memory. But, in that moment,
completely drenched in rain I remembered those days; probably because I had suddenly discovered the child 'still' in me.

I returned home with a renewed spirit, with the realization that life was not so dull and gloomy after all. Maybe tomorrow the sadness will return; I may (will?) slip back into the gloomy mood. But, whenever that happens, I will remember this rainy day and hopefully, just the thought of it will bring back some cheer.

So, bring out the child in you, go and dance in the rain, enjoy every day and moment, and you will discover that life is not that bad after all. You will then eternally find a happy, cheerful, enthusiastic you.

So, when there's something biting you, some pain, or just plain boredom, pray that it rains; so that you can drive away your melancholy.

Do you often reflect back and think 'what if I had done that?', 'what if I had'nt missed that opportunity?', 'what if I had listened to my heart?' 'what if...?' Whatever you think now, how ever much you want to turn the clock back and have another shot at it, you cannot. For those days and moments have flown away, never to return. Time has never paused for anyone, and it never will. It just keeps racing along. And, you must do what you want to do, now - right now, for these moments - golden moments - too will soon be history.

Though you cannot rewind and retry (read try), you can choose to change now. Do you want to leave your job and do something else? Do it now. Do you want to fly - whatever that means? Do it now. Whatever it is, do it now. Sure, there will be people, perhaps the ones closest to you, who don't approve of it. There will be those who frown at your ideas, those who try their best to dissuade you. At first, it may seem that they are right. After all, some people have good convincing powers(it matters little that they mostly use emotional, unethical means).

But, if you look around, you can see that the people who are really happy are those who followed their dreams, those who took the tough decisions at the right moments. And, it's not about making it big. Not really.

For, it matters little whether your decisions bring you 'success' or so called 'failure'. Because real success, real happiness, lies in doing the things you want even if it means that they don't make you successful in the eyes of the world. As you take the path you want, be prepared to lose, and you will win.

Wherever and at whatever point in your life you are, remember one thing: you chart your own course, you make your own destiny. No, wait.You 'can' chart your own course, you 'can' make your own destiny. But, do you want to? Well, if you don't, then years down the line don't blame destiny for it! But, if you want to, all I can say is, you must begin now!

We meet several people in our lives, we judge them as good or bad, bright or dull, silent or talkative and so on. We even 'claim' to know some people closely. But, who knows what dreams, what desires, what sorrows and pains lie behind the outward appearance people put on? Who knows what darkness or divine light lies within them? What drives or stops their life? What hidden meaning there is in the words people speak - or what words are spoken in silence?

It often happens that inside a funny person lies an untold grief, or even a tragedy. Behind a serious, 'thinking' man lies the carefree, happy soul, that the world - or perhaps the man himself - is unaware of. Each person holds within hidden thoughts, perceptions, maybe an unknown treasure, an important message or perhaps even a stunning discovery that has the ability to change the world. Each person - surely - holds within, an untold story.

People put on a garb, some knowingly and some unknowingly - a garb that hides their true self, a garb that makes them a mystery to the world, a garb the encapsulates within itself a world of its own. It would be amazing if we could see beyond the garb, know the true side of a person and understand the little, unknown world inside. For then, we could rightly 'claim' to truly 'know' a person. Perhaps, we need to see with our heart, to 'listen' to actions or may be even intercept a persons' thoughts!?

Even so, there will always remain a part of a each person that is inaccessible to the oustide world. A part that houses the innermost thoughts and feelings, a part that probably truly determines the course of a persons' life. And it is best that way. Just pause to think what would happen if we knew people completely, if we were to be privy to all their inner thoughts and reasons. This world would then cease to be the strange, mystical place that it is.

Many of us have questions like "how far can I go?", "how successful can I be?" and so on. The answers lie within us. Really, its where we 'want' to go.

In the end we determine where we go in life and how far we go. But, many a time we limit ourselves. We create these 'imaginary' boundaries around our lives. And slowly, these boundaries start to seem real! The sceret of life, lies in breaking these boudnaries. The people who realize their full potential are those who consistently try to step out beyond these boundaries.

As Robin S Sharma says in his book The Monk who sold his Ferrari, "The boundaries of our life are merely the creations of the self". The first step is to realize that these boundaries are self-created and to throw them out of our mind.

Let us stop thinking of our limits and stop limiting our thoughts. Let us try to reach for the sky. But, the sky is not the limit. If there is any, its somewhere beyond!

So, the next time you start to wonder, "What are my limits?", the answer from within should be "What are limits?"

"Live your life each day as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance toward the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point. Climb slowly, steadily, enjoying each passing moment; and the view from the summit will serve as a fitting climax for the journey."--Harold B. Melchart

How true! Sometimes, we forget that we have a life to enjoy. Sure, we have to have goals and work towards achieving them, but we cannot afford to put off 'living' to a later time. Enjoying the journey is as important (if not more) as reaching the goal itself.

So, do what you enjoy, enjoy what you do, and when you do reach your goal it will feel that much better! Often, we think only of our goals, forgetting to live every moment. "We miss the forest for the trees". Later, we regret not enjoying the golden moments of life. But, no amount of regret can bring back those moments.

"The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone" -- George Eliot

So, laugh, dream and dont forget to 'live' everyday. For, Happiness is not a destination. We can find happiness everyday, in every moment, if we wish to!

My first day at Microsoft Research as an intern was really good - the environment, people, everything. I hope it remains like this. The experience gained will be really valuable. I hope I can get the most out of this internship!

Don't be dismayed at goodbyes, a farewell is necessary before you can meet again and meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.
- Anonymous

Rohit, Siddharth, Suyash and me went out. We had lunch at Sikandar in garuda mall. The food was good - but the time we had together was even better! Then we saw a movie - Casino Royale - great action, I must say, though I am not one who likes action movies.

Rohit and Suyash are placed in Gurgaon...so may not meet them for sometime..

We had a great day... hopefully we will meet sometime like this again... Anyway...here's wishing all of them the very best...hope you people have a great life!

Cheers...till we meet again...

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